Keith Olbermann talks some sense

Finally tonight as promised, a Special Comment on the passage, last week, of Proposition Eight in California, which rescinded the right of same-sex couples to marry, and tilted the balance on this issue, from coast to coast.

Some parameters, as preface. This isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics, and this isn't really just about Prop-8. And I don't have a personal investment in this: I'm not gay, I had to strain to think of one member of even my very extended family who is, I have no personal stories of close friends or colleagues fighting the prejudice that still pervades their lives.

And yet to me this vote is horrible. Horrible. Because this isn't about yelling, and this isn't about politics. This is about the human heart, and if that sounds corny, so be it. ...

With your knowledge that life, with endless vigor, seems to tilt the playing field on which we all live, in favor of unhappiness and hate... this is what your heart tells you to do? You want to sanctify marriage? You want to honor your God and the universal love you believe he represents? Then Spread happiness—this tiny, symbolic, semantical grain of happiness—share it with all those who seek it. Quote me anything from your religious leader or book of choice telling you to stand against this. And then tell me how you can believe both that statement and another statement, another one which reads only "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate.

You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out. Just don't extinguish it. Because while it may at first look like that love is between two people you don't know and you don't understand and maybe you don't even want to know. It is, in fact, the ember of your love, for your fellow person just because this is the only world we have. And the other guy counts, too.

This is the second time in ten days I find myself concluding by turning to, of all things, the closing plea for mercy by Clarence Darrow in a murder trial.

But what he said, fits what is really at the heart of this:

"I was reading last night of the aspiration of the old Persian poet, Omar-Khayyam," he told the judge. It appealed to me as the highest that I can vision. I wish it was in my heart, and I wish it was in the hearts of all: So I be written in the Book of Love; I do not care about that Book above. Erase my name, or write it as you will, So I be written in the Book of Love."

Happily ever after

Last week something amazing and wonderful happened to me. I had the opportunity to sneak off to California and officially marry the man of my dreams! Who would have imagined a few years ago that this would be possible? At the time, I didn't believe sweet, loyal, loving, and beautiful people like Mike existed, let alone that I would meet him and we would fall in love. Seriously, Mike is the best and I am honored to share my life with him.

We had been talking for a long time about getting married and both agreed that we wanted to take that step when the time was right. We tentatively planned to tie the knot in 2009 after the elections because I didn't think I could handle having our rights stripped away after getting married if (heaven forbid) this terrible amendment passes in California. Then the LDS church yet again declared war against our happiness (see Utah Amendment 3) and began openly promoting a political agenda in CA (see Proposition 8) by encouraging its members to devote time and funds to taking away rights from Americans. We decided it no longer made sense to wait to get married. Our commitment to each other has been clear for ages and the only thing missing was the official seal of approval. We decided to take matters into our own hands and elope.

The day we married was amazing! Everywhere we went both before and after the ceremony people were friendly and helpful and it seemed the stars were aligned to make it the perfect day. The TSA agents at the airport were even friendly! I won't blog the details so I still have stories to tell around the dinner table, but know that it was perfect.

When we got home something amazing happened that I never expected. All of the important people in our lives came together in unanimous support and showered us with love and approval. If you know me well, you've probably heard me rant about the battle over same-sex marriage. For a long time I've said that I don't care about "marriage" per se and that I just want legal rights. I never took the time to really analyze the intangible value of the word marriage in our culture. As we told our families that we were married there was so much emotion and love and understanding in their eyes it startled me. Then I realized the power of this social commitment that is unique to marriage. I can scream "committed relationship", "monogamous", and "domestic partner" until I'm blue in the face and most people will just reply something like "that's nice dear" and change the subject. Now, when I say "married" there is a light that goes on in their heads, especially with others who are already married, and suddenly they are connected to you and understand your love for each other. This is a word they can relate to. This is a commitment that is not trivial, not easily broken, and has a much deeper emotional meaning than I ever gave it credit for. I now understand just how important it is that homosexual couples, who are that way from birth and did not choose it, are allowed to marry. The heterosexual world sees us as promiscuous and our relationships as fragile and fleeting, yet they fight against our right to show that we can honor and appreciate commitment as much as they can. When we are not allowed to marry, we are denied the right to proclaim our commitment to the world in a meaningful way. Domestic partnership and commitment ceremonies are second-class because of the special meaning marriage has in our culture.

This was really driven home when my dear grandfather called to convey just how proud he was of our decision to commit our lives to each other. He had somehow worried that because I spoke lightly of marriage when arguing legal rights that I didn't believe in lifelong commitment. He was sad for me because in his mind I would never get to experience the joy of true commitment. This is exactly why the fight for same-sex marriage is so important. No other phrase or substitute ceremony would have seemed real to my grandfather and he would have always considered our relationship to be temporary and less meaningful (even though he wouldn't realize he felt that way). This is an absolute tragedy. Not only would amendment 8 block a couple's right to hospital visits and rights of attorney, it would diminish the happiness available to their friends and family.

I love Mike with all my heart and I have vowed to honor and cherish him even when we're old and our bodies are falling apart. If two people love each other enough to wipe each others' butts in a retirement home when they are 90, they should have the right to meaningfully celebrate their commitment with their family and friends through marriage.

Big Harvest

It is threatening to frost this weekend so we pulled a bunch of veggies tonight to save them, but there is still probably 10x what you see here out in the yard. Hopefully they'll still be edible next week...

Which one is the elitist?

First Harvest

Here is a portion of the first harvest.

Late August Garden Update

The garden is getting a little out of control big... but YUMMY!

Early Aug Garden Update

And some more pics...

Garden Update

Everything is growing... here are some pics

June Garden Update

Here's a quick update on our garden. Things are coming along nicely... the only problem is that with veggie growth also comes weed growth.

The Garden

Here is the place where we spend the majority of our time; at least in the spring. I absolutely LOVE our yard and if anyone is ever trying to find me it's the first place to start looking. I'm constantly getting in trouble for dragging mud into the house like a little kid. In case you were wondering, sandals do not make it easier to clean up. My bare feet absorb the mud and deposit it in perfect footprints on any white carpet I can find. So, here is a little update on how things are progressing.

We started with this nondescript patch of potential. Some wonderful family members offered to help with the prep work and we went through an incredible process of measuring, tilling, levelling, mulching, and planting in early May. I wish I had taken pictures of the string levels. It was awesome!

Now we have these beautiful rows filled with yummy tomato plants (15 different cultivars), peppers (every color from white to orange to black), cucumbers, eggplant, summer squashes, zucchini, winter squashes, Swiss chard, salad greens, and hopefully carrots. The carrots are a little shy so far.

Overall, the garden is 31 feet wide by 30 feet long. We water this huge garden with Millcreek irrigation water which we are fortunate enough to have rights to. This makes it much more affordable to maintain a garden.

We've also been hard at work landscaping parts of the yard to make it happier. We originally had a very ugly irrigation ditch filled with rotting weed barrier and rocks. We need the ditch for watering the trees by the stones and moss but wanted it to be more asthetically pleasing.

A little hard work later, we now have a somewhat natural looking river that I'm very pleased with. I plan to fill the "river" with water-tolerant plants, possibly asparagus, to make it even more natural.

Here is one of my favorite parts of the yard: Irish & Scottish moss between beautiful flagstones under a relaxing hammock.

Last but not least is our herb garden. We went a little crazy this year planting every herb we could think of using. I also went a little overboard with the alyssum seeds to fill the empty space. Some of that will need to be transplanted. Anyway, we have 4 types of basil, 5 sages, 2 oreganos, rosemary, cilantro, chives, garlic, dill, parsley, lemongrass, and fennel.

California Court Affirms Right to Gay Marriage

Somehow this seems like an appropriate day to start actually posting to this blog. I created it a while ago but I'm still not used to the idea of writing about trivial things in our lives. I needed something important to start with and, well, this is important!

As you probably know, my personal opinion is that "marriage" is a strictly religious institution that should be administered through religious means. The term "marriage" should not have any legal status whatsoever. All humans entering into a familial agreement should have to apply for a domestic partnership with the government for legal benefits and this partnership option should be available to all. Those interested in a "marriage" ceremony would do that separately with their religious organization. The two should not mix.

This obviously will never happen in my lifetime, but people like Mike and me in committed relationships should have access to all the same legal rights and obligations as heterosexual religious couples. In absence of a perfect world we are thrilled to accept the full citizens rights through the word "marriage" as necessitated by our culture.

Regardless of your religious beliefs, and in keeping with the spirit of love and respect, I hope you will celebrate with us as we get closer to equality and having the right to live happily together.

"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." Theodore Parker